“I learned that I had to deal with the things that hurt me,” DMX said. I didn’t really have anybody to talk to… in the hood, nobody wants to hear that… Talking about your problems is viewed as a sign of weakness when actually it’s one of the bravest things you can do. One of the bravest things you can do is put it on the table, chop it up, and just let it out.”
X shared that his problems with the drug began when he was 14 years old, when the person who introduced him to hip-hop also handed him a crack-laced blunt. That mentor didn’t tell X exactly what he was smoking, an incident that traumatized X and led to the confessional aspect of his raps.
“He passed the blunt around and… I hit the blunt,” an emotional DMX recounted in the interview. “I never felt like this before it fucked me up. I later found out that he laced the blunt with crack… Why would you do that to a child? He was like 30 and he knew I looked up to him. Why would you do that to someone who looks up to you?”
DMX also recognized how that crucial moment set him on a path that would provide the framework for his music career, saying he sees himself “blessed with a curse.”
“Thank you for helping me open that door because that’s actually the biggest problem, not addiction,” he said. “Drugs were never a problem, drugs were a symptom of a bigger problem. There were things I went through in my childhood where I just blocked it out. You never know when the things you stored away are going to come out and just fall all over the place… Let me open this door and start dealing with this shit right now before it comes out at the wrong time and I just have a meltdown… that’s what’s helped with addiction and sobriety.”
The full interview is set to drop on Nov. 9 at 9 a.m. ET.